The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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