Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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