I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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