Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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