Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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