Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
