on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
