I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
