Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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