I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
