That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
