I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
