I showed him my bush... on skype.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
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