Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
