I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
