Are we in a gay sports bar?
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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