vagina is talking i cant
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
