please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
