i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
