I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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