Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
