do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
