I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
I did not marry a roomba.
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