hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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