i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
