This is not my ceiling
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
