Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
