Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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