Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
