I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
