My Higher Power is John Stamos
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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