he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Randomize
