i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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