awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
