After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
