you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
