I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
