Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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