you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
