He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
