It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
