wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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