um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
