I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize
