How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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