If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
