I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
