She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
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