I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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