Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
you had me at cake vodka
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
