i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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