3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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