Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
