is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
