yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Randomize
