Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
