Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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