yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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