Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
