OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
