I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
