just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
what the fuck happened to the tacos
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
