i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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